Remembering What Jesus did for me: His Crucifixion for My Resurrection

As Christmas approaches I cannot help to remember what God has done for me.  I am still in awe that He would give His Son’s life for me.  I don’t deserve it but yet He gave me the gift of grace and that is enough for me.

Written 2/27/17

“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”

Isaiah 53:3

Abba,

Jesus, your precious son, was rejected by me. He endured the most horrific torture I could ever imagine. If I take an account, the punishment He received; the one who knew no sin was betrayed by me; He was accused by me; He was judged by me; He was spit on; He was whipped over and over again; He was pierced. If I take an inventory of my sins, they don’t compare. My crimes were drinking, compromised my body, had many hateful thoughts, bullied, and used drugs. I turned my back on Jesus with my deceitful character. Jesus was tortured and executed for my crimes. I am guilty of murdering your son on the cross. He was held there by the nails of my selfishness, my addictions, and my deceit. He wore the crown of my pride, doubt, envy, jealousy, boastfulness, self-centeredness, and dishonoring you and others. His broken and tattered body is the evidence of my every iniquity. He chose to break his body, so he could save me. He carried my cross of every sin I committed. I look at this picture and I am disgusted with myself. It is not fair that someone who knew no sin could be tortured like that and tell me “you are forgiven”; “your debt is paid”. He obeyed you, Abba, because he wanted me to be free from the prison I placed myself in. He obeyed because he loves me, you love and cherish me. I went through life unable to carry my cross because it was too heavy. But it is easy for Jesus. I can carry my cross now because I have Jesus to help me. Every lash on his back are the wounds of my soul. Every time that hammer hit the nails, my sins were being driven from me. Every drop of His blood washed me clean. Every tear he shed provided me with living water. He died a horrible death and took my sins with Him. He is no longer in the grave, but when he rose, he left my chains behind. He defeated my sins, so I could be made whole, righteous, and your adopted child. The day I realized who I was, was the day Jesus died. He conquered the grave when I turned around and saw his face that wore forgiveness, love, comfort, gentleness, and adoration for me. I don’t recognize the old me any longer. Because of what you did for me I owe you my life. I am no longer a slave to sin but proudly a slave to your righteousness. I have been adopted as your precious daughter who has been fearfully and wonderfully made. Now your spirit dwells in me so others can turn around and see what I saw in Jesus’ face. All for your glory and not mine.

Love

Forgiven